We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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