You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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