Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
