im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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