Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
