There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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