this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize