So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
