If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
