Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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