Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
