i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
