Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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