I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
