Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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