He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
