So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
