Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
