i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
