duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
