This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
