corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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