I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
