And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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