Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
