your room smells of hookers.
And success
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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