We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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