This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
