check it out our google latitudes are spooning
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
