so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
