some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
