If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize