hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
