Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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