just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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