i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
