Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
