I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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