Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
