I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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