I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
