Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
