DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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