Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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