that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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