just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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