I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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