It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
