this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
