it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
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