Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
