Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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