Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
