Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry oh_wtf hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

(1-972): View more from Texas

I want to be a cop.

Fav 104 24500 1399
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

Fav 22 7465 1231
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt

Fav 12 934 1602
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.

Fav 2 22 64
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad

Fav 0 28 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT