If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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