if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
