umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
