She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You were trust falling into bushes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He did a backflip because drugs
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