I'm eating all of the evidence.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
