ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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